“You’re a Witch.”
As I write today, I don’t write to educate or enlighten about anything other than myself. This isn’t a confession, and I’m not coming clean, I’m sharing with you who I’ve become, and who I am today. I’m sharing this note not to convince or persuade anyone, but to open myself up to who I am by virtue of what I’ve experienced and learned about myself along the way.
Since I was very young, I knew there something within me that couldn’t be tamed. Something magical and extremely powerful.
The countless hours Nanny and I would spend together consisted of fairy tales, myths, imagination and laughter.
She taught me about the Fairies that lived in the embers of a fire and the magic of the sparks they released.
She told me stories of those Fairies that lived in the gardens, not only cultivating growth within the garden and forest but also listening to and helping with your wishes and prayers.
She taught me about the pull and majesty of the Moon, her beauty and mystery, her potential and possibility throughout the cycles.
She taught me the healing power of the ocean, releasing your burdens and worries to her and feeling the weight lifting as she consumed them and washed them away.
She taught me about the Spirits that dance within the Northern Lights, and the stories behind the stars and what they mean to us.
She taught me the power of sisterhood and community, and what is means to listen to your heart and allow your free and wild spirit to soar and guide you down your truest path.
She taught the supremacy of laughter and love; it’s power to change any situation and truly make everything better.
She would read my tea leaves after ever tea party, manifesting the abundance and magical glory that would always be my present and future. We would hold different rocks and she could put into words what they made me feel.
She taught me about karma, the potency of my actions, words and thoughts towards others and myself. She taught me how to be a Woman.
She never told me she was passing down her manifesto, her rituals, her divine energy and light and ancient teachings. She never told me she was a Witch.
I didn’t make the connection and didn’t quite know what she meant. To me, like most people, a Witch was something scary, something I didn’t understand and something I certainly didn’t identify myself as.
Maybe this is why it took me a little longer to truly grasp and understand what she was teaching and the raw truth in every story. Others would look at our stories and shared secrets as child’s play and fairy tales. But now I know the depths of her truth and the gifts that were being bestowed upon me.
Only now do I understand what she was telling me.
Only now do I understand the connection between the truth I feel and the stories she told.
Only now do I feel like I am living the fairy tales she would read me.
Her passing was the hardest, most excruciating experience I have ever had to endure. Despite her passing though, her spirit has never, ever left my side. Her words and essence flow through my being daily and parts of her are projected in ways I never imagined.
It took years of trying to dull the roar from within; putting out the light that wanted so badly to shine. I went back and forth to try to make sense of what I was feeling and experiencing rather than just opening myself up to it. It took many meditations, tarot and oracle cards galore. I had one too many heartbreaks and painful moments. I used a whole lot of crystals and essentials oils, and more elixirs than I can count and a heap of self-discovery and learning to love myself again before I could see the beauty in my wildness.
As I write these words I can feel her soul relaxing and rejoicing in my moment of clarity and true embrace of this life.
I feel calm.
I feel connected.
I am me.
I am a Witch.
The word Witch may have a negative connotation these days, which is why I never really looked into it or allowed it to resonate with me or be used as an identifier of who I am. Once I started having more and more people say it to me though, I dug deeper. I had to.
See, Witches love the Earth and absolutely worship Nature (not the Devil). We believe in karma, we do no harm because that would mean to harm ourselves. We’ve been taught (read: brainwashed) to ignore and subdue our wildness and our true nature. We rise up. We relish the Wild and Free, aligning ourselves once again to the cycles of the Earth and Moon. I am absolutely fascinated by Mother Earth, Father Sky and everything they entail.
If this is a Witch, so am I.
I am connected, aware, and conscious.
I am empowered.
I am a healer.
I am a Witch.
Healer is a word I hear more and more often when people describe me lately; even from those who don’t believe in that or know what it is. I find myself drawing in the people who need guidance or to hear my stories of survival, growth, abundance, happiness and health. When things get real in their world, I am typically the one they turn to. I never understood why my soul felt so uneasy in “normal” situations that our society has created for us.
This has changed.
I know why now.
It’s because I’m too damn wild for this Western civilization I’ve grown up in. I have the heart and soul of a gypsy and anyone who knows me knows my motto has always been, ‘I gotta go!’ I need to be in nature and I yearn for new experiences, new people and diving into the beauty of our World. I couldn’t understand why my spiritual journey was changing and escalating so rapidly lately but I know I just need to surrender and let this unfold as it may. I’m at a place in my life where I just don’t care what others say or think about the life I live. I’m on a different vibration and I’m loving every single second. I want to share this with you. Now is the time to be open, honest and authentic about who I truly I am.
Breathe deep, surrender hard, and enjoy the ride.
I am eternally grateful to the moments spent around a campfire, under a vast blanket of stars, sharing fairy tales with Nanny.
She was a Witch.