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3 steps you can take for inviting in and befriending your shadows

For those looking to get intimate with their shadow side, first check out the podcast episode that speaks to exactly what Shadow Work looks like and how to approach it safely (link in bio) and then maybe try on this exploratory approach.

1. Get curious and mindfully aware about the moments you are activated or you notice your behaviour start to change. Maybe pause and ask why - where is this coming from and why do I feel the need to react this way? Over time, maybe you actually change your reaction to a mindful response and change your behaviours.

2. Shadow Journal - this is where all of your insights, thoughts, and words can simply flow with no censor or filter. It’s almost as if you want every part of you to be able to speak through your pen with no fear of judgement. You never even have to read these words again, your consciousness is now aware of them and this means it’s working to shift and change it for the better.

3. Get Into Dialogue. Talk to yourself the way you would a troubled friend. What’s making that part of you feel unheard, unworthy, unloved? How could you better support them? Acknowledge that they are only trying to help, remember your shadows learnt to act the way they did from day one because of the negative experiences you witnessed and endured - they act the way they do to protect you from ever experiencing that again.

4. BONUS: Thank them and thank yourself for doing this work - it takes an absolute warrior/ warrioress to dig into this work but please don’t go it alone.


You can listen to my recent Musings with Amanda episode where I speak about the importance of acknowledging the dualities that we all possess, the dark and light, the befriending all aspects of yourself. I explain how our shadow self shows itself to us and how it manifests as negative behaviours when not repaired. Finally I help you to cultivate your shadow work journey via a three step process.

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